Monday, May 08, 2006

Old-school Chinese marriage restrictions

I don't get this. Can someone please explain to me what the trouble is with
  • boys marrying girls who are taller than them, and
  • girls marrying boys who are less educated than them?

Not that these are hard-and-fast requirements for me (or that, y'know, I'm planning to get married in the first place), but I've heard enough talk about them around the family circle that I'm curious as to whether they're old-school Chinese or just old-school... whatever. It's not so much a "thou shalt not" as it is "You know, boys generally don't like girls who have higher degrees..." comment. Anyone ever heard similar? What do you think?


Captain Segfault said...

I've heard of the first, but not really the second; I'm fairly sure both are at least somewhat old-school whatever. ;-)

Of course, I've probably only met (as opposed to just seeing randomly in public) no more than half a dozen women taller than me in my life; I'd put the chances that I'll marry one at about one in a zillion, so the counterpart on my side doesn't worry me much at all. And, if anything, I'd significantly prefer someone who was not a foot shorter than me. But, of course, not a hard and fast requirement, either. (nor am I planning to get married in the short or medium run, for that matter.)

In terms of education, you have to consider the flip side; you probably wouldn't *want* to marry the sort of person who would not like a woman with a higher degree. In fact, you'd probably want to marry someone who *does* have a higher degree. At the very least, I couldn't imagine you marrying someone who couldn't at least get a masters if he actually wanted to, whether or not he actually had one.

My point is, I wouldn't worry too much about it. :-)

Tim said...

I've heard them before. I think the concern is that men aren't supposed to be (or look) inferior to "their" woman and will avoid women who have higher physical or intellectual standing, because men are supposed to be dominant while women are supposed to be obedient shrinking violets. Grr.

Christie said...

I'm no violet ;)

I've heard that, but it's not believed in my family. The first is not a problem because we're all short and the second was never a problem until my generation.

The really big thing for my family is the must-marry-a-chinese-boy thing. And being straight. And no tattoos...wooo tangents!

They'd even settle for just any old Asian, too. =)