Sunday, July 15, 2007

Up on the roof

This post will be oddly disjointed and incoherent - it's a series of mental snapshots. The title comes from one of my favorite James Taylor songs.

I've developed a fondness for butter tea since eating at Rangzen,
the local Tibetian restaurant. I usually drink my tea straight, but a
little bit of milk, butter, and salt make it taste oddly good. It also
takes more time and means I get to wash a knife in addition to a cup,
so that's a tradeoff.

It's (almost)* official; I'm addicted to OLPC. My leave-the-office times in this week alone have crept from 7pm... to midnight... to 2am... to 4:30am in a memorable flamenco-soaked fest last night. (That, by the way, is the OLPC summer blog, which consists mostly of the Content crew so far.)

*oh, you'll find out soon, although some of you have undoubtedly guessed it by now.

(the remainder of this post written almost a full day later:)

My brain is becoming wikified. Transparency, crosslinking, talk pages, and a strange sense of stability-in-anarchy are popping up in my metaphors for everyday life. I have occasional compulsions to put things in [[Brackets]] (in mediawiki syntax, that would make a link to the "Brackets" page). I blame SJ. Well, I blame him from starting me on this and continually feeding me input that reinforces it, but I'm steering myself into it, so I suppose I really can't blame anyone but myself.

(and yet some hours later...)

A longer post tonight has been superseded by a wonderful long talk with Joe. That's not the right word, but I'm attempting to convey that the creative, expressive impulse to share what's normally the continuous introverted thought process of my mind - in an attempt to let the world in and stop myself from shutting more of it out - that impulse has been nicely fulfilled by the conversation, and my mind is quiet enough now that I can... think. And sleep. Thank you, Joe.

Some potentially cryptic notes from that conversation, which will probably mean different things to me tomorrow morning taken out of context:

  • Jealousy and envy have subtly different connotations. I want to obtain things (not necessarily physical entities, mind you) for myself by creating more of them in the world, not by taking them away from other people.
  • Physical awareness is good stuff. I need more of it.
  • Comfort in your own skin is preferable to detachment/shutdown, but shutdown is (to me, at least - and I think to Joe as well) preferable to a mask. They're the truth, silence, and a lie, respectively.
  • The preceding statement implies an objectivity and precision that doesn't actually exist around this topic.

The world is wonderful, and I am being selfish tonight for once... and going to bed.

1 comment:

drew road mama said...

To stop or not to stop, that is not the question. When to stop is the question. I understand clearly about the mind and body that just goes and goes and goes. Technology is to you what the red ballet shoes is to that character in a movie of long ago about a ballerina who loved to dance. The ballerina was given a pair of enchanted red ballet shoes. As soon as she put those shoes on, she danced even more beautifully. She was very happy at first, and did not want to stop dancing. As predicted, too much of a good thing eventually will turn sour. She could not stop dancing because she could not take those shoes off. She did not have the chance to stop and smell the roses and fulfill her other passions (such as a love interest, as is everpresent in all movies). In the end, she died a very unhappy person. Sometimes, you must quit (for the night or day) while you are ahead, so that you have full energy to resume and finish the work.
Being "selfish" also have different connotations. Selfish can occur at many levels and look different at each of those levels. Sometimes one does not even realize that selfishness is at work, because it can look like "selflessness." In the end, one cannot take the "self" out of anything that we do because we are always fulfilling our own need or want when we do things, even things we do for others. I guess the main difference is whether we are acting out of need or out of want. And still, when would that difference be significant?
There are many questions that are lifelong questions upon which to ponder. So, in the meantime, one must have enough sleep so that one can have refreshed energy and rejuvenated cells to do all the work that the body and mind and heart wants to do.